Unkempt

 Making friends as an adult is complicated. Don't get me wrong, I am lucky to have a dozen amazing friends who have known me since before I had braces. But they are spread across the country and I don't see them daily. 

I’m a bit of a mess. There are moments I wish I could be the manicured mom. But alas. I am the unkempt mom. The mom with the leftover muffin in the minivan console. It has its purpose. I might get hungry. This “creative chaos” I carry about can make it difficult for me to make friends. People do not like to be sticky. And my life (and car) can be sticky. 

So, I purchased a bird feeder. My sister inspired this purchase. She has a lovely well kept garden. She also has a bird feeder. I was standing in her drive watching the little things fly to and from the feeder. I thought, these birds seem happy. So I went home and sat on my porch swing looking out at my “lawn meadow” and imagining all the little friends that would visit me. 

It arrived a week ago. A green metal beacon of hope. I had a passing concern about Cat. Cat leaves carcasses littering our drive. Familiar. I quickly pushed the thought away and assembled my feeder. I placed it just under the small oak. 

Now I can sip my coffee and peek between my dusty plantation shutters and watch the birds. 

“Oh you sassy little red headed bird! Don’t hog all the seed!” I laugh.

“The blue jay is back! Here comes trouble! Am I right?”

“Little chickadee, you have been eating all morning! Don’t eat too much now!”

I have found my friends. 

I hope Cat doesn’t eat them.