Southern Woman on the Skids

  In my latest conversations with my friends, I am realizing that I am not alone in the dropping shoe moments. The moments that trip you up when everything is just rolling along pretty happily.I know everyone says that all people have the same basic issues. But now I can finally see it! It’s very liberating. Yes we all have variations but the themes are the same. Family. Work. Love. Parenting. Parenting. Parenting. That’s what seems to come up the most. These people wreak havoc on our hearts and souls as mothers.  I wasn’t easy on my mom. I mean I wasn’t Heather. But my desk was by the teachers. I got notes home. I was always the kid forced to clean out her desk during “Friday Freetime.” I remember one time running around our pool. One of my friends was chasing me, because I glanced back to see where she was and BAM! I face planted on the diving board. It was one of those vicious ones with the spicy white plaster like substance on top. The whole side of my face was bloody. I r...

Some days it sort of feels like you are holding your breath. Especially before the beginning of something. The beginning of school, a vacation, whatever.  The kids have changed so much in the last year that it feels like we are starting something new. Charlie is getting older and will be a teenager in a blink, and Zig is going to be a junior and out of the house in a blink. All this and Weldon is thisclose to walking. It’s amazing and overwhelming and emotional and outstanding.  And I am just here holding my breath and holding on to this exact moment in time.

  My friends and I have started doing this video group message app called Marco Polo. It’s so funny and weird and perfect for moms who want to stay in touch but don’t really have the time or bandwidth for phone calls. We have a group and we leave little video updates throughout the day.  We love it. I can see their kids, their homes, their spouses and sometimes their local friends. We all can be open about what good or bad is happening. We can talk and they can actually hear us. When you have a group of 15 female friends, there is a lot of talking over and interrupting when we are together in person. Just because we have to fill each other in on EVERYTHING and we usually only have about two days to do it. Now, I can drop a line about something crappy or wonderful and they can respond. I can see them and hear their encouragement right when I need it. And I am seeing a different side of them at that moment. I see them moming their babies. I see them sitting at their counters....

   Today was a really good day. My kids are happy. We have had good important conversations the last few days and the fruits of those talks are showing.  We didn’t do anything crazy or overly exciting. There was no trip to the beach or fancy vacation… We just went to help Rob move some furniture in his classroom and to run a couple of errands. but we were sort of all the team again. You know when you feel like things are right and good and everyone has been checked in with and you’re all kind of connected? That’s how today was. The kids were funny and fun and helpful. They did hard things. For Charlie it was math for Ziggy. It was being really nice to Charlie. They were thoughtful of each other and of Rob and I. They loved on Weldon which is always fun. It was just a good day. I know soon everything will change so I’m going to enjoy every moment of days like these. I just started reading this book called It. Goes. So. Fast. by Mary Louise Kelly. And it’s reminding me tha...

  Today was wild. I hosted my niece and nephew for the day. The house was busy and loud and Inwas exhausted. But it was so fun. Charlie took her little cousin out riding bikes. My niece busied herself with a model to build and Zig was in and out, helping entertain kids and doing little chores for me. As tired as I was so grateful for the day.  Whenever I visit my dad, his house is very clean and quiet. It makes me realize that I need to drink it in while I have it. So I hugged my kids a lot today. I apologized when my tired self got grumpy, and let them help when they could.  Rob and I collapsed into bed. I hope to get some good sleep so I can smile a little more at them and embrace the noise and chaos for a moment.

  My dad has this mug he used to take to work. It wasn’t like a travel mug so he would just set this open mug in the console of his metallic blue nissan maxima and coffee would spill everywhere. I knew it well because I was out “sick” during my elementary school years and would ride into work with him, where I would languish behind his desk on a pallet sipping cokes and eating those orange crackers with peanut butter inside.  The mug was a cartoon by Susan Boylan and it had this elephant on the ground covered in turkeys. On the other side it read, “Don’t let the turkeys get you down.” This mug made a very real impression on me. There are several turkeys that try to creep into our life and get Rob and I down. We quote this mug weekly.  So here is my advice for today. Don’t. Let. The. Fucking. Turkeys. Get. You. Down.  Also, don’t be a turkey. I mean, we can all be turkeys sometimes. That’s life, right? But just don’t be one. And if you are, realize it, make it right a...

  Tonight Charlie and I went to see Barbie. Charlie is a stubborn emotional girl that knows herself and what she wants. It’s hard to parent a kid like that. Even harder with a girl. Even harder when the life you live with this little person is at times complicated. But there we are.  So we are standing in the lobby of the movie theater in line for popcorn. I only have my phone because I am me and I never have anything but my phone. So I figured, I can use my phone to pay. But alas, this movie theater is broken and does not accept phone pay.  “Aw man. Okay, well let’s just go get our seats.” I say to my complex emotional stubborn daughter. How do you think this went? “Okay mom! I’m so excited to see this with you. Who needs popcorn?” “What?! No. I have to have popcorn. Let’s just go home. Don’t you have cash?!!! “I’ll pay mom. I’ve been saving up quarters.” I would love to say it was A. Hell, I’d love to say it was C. But that would make me a liar. I was not happy about th...