Missing

 Yesterday I didn’t post a blog. I couldn’t. I drove to see my mom. It wasn’t like the other times. She was missing.

She was there, in the room with me. But she was missing.


 I had just been there less than a month before. When we left that time she grabbed the kids and I and hugged us all together and tight. She kissed me on the face and looked me in the eye. “I love you.” she said. Maybe she knew. My dad says that sometimes there will be moments of that clarity before they go. I am so grateful for that moment. That my Ziggy got a real hug and smile and kiss from a woman that helped him grow. That Charlie got to hold her hand and hear her Mimi tell her she was beautiful. That she saw Weldon, and knows we are all so happy and cared for. 


I am so lucky to have had the time I did with her. The times she was spitting mad at me. The times we laughed over the kids or worried over them or just went through life. Cooking and talking and planning. 


She would be so excited for all that we have planned. So excited that I finally have a bookshop. So excited for Rob teaching and Zig being a junior. She would be so so excited to know Charlie will be homeschooling with me again. More chances for us to get into trouble, and to have some fun together. Mimi would have wanted that. And I don’t want to miss it.  

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