Barbieland

 Tonight Charlie and I went to see Barbie. Charlie is a stubborn emotional girl that knows herself and what she wants. It’s hard to parent a kid like that. Even harder with a girl. Even harder when the life you live with this little person is at times complicated. But there we are. 

So we are standing in the lobby of the movie theater in line for popcorn. I only have my phone because I am me and I never have anything but my phone. So I figured, I can use my phone to pay. But alas, this movie theater is broken and does not accept phone pay. 


“Aw man. Okay, well let’s just go get our seats.” I say to my complex emotional stubborn daughter.


How do you think this went?


  1. “Okay mom! I’m so excited to see this with you. Who needs popcorn?”

  2. “What?! No. I have to have popcorn. Let’s just go home. Don’t you have cash?!!!

  3. “I’ll pay mom. I’ve been saving up quarters.”


I would love to say it was A. Hell, I’d love to say it was C. But that would make me a liar. I was not happy about this display. We stood in the lobby at an impasse, until I walked out to the car with her behind me and we pulled out the car cash we keep hidden for emergencies. Seven whole dollars. I knew that in no world, even Barbieland, would this amount buy a small popcorn, but I thought it could be a learning moment. And it was. 


Small popcorn=$10


So I asked her again. “So would you like to see this movie? Or go home. I would like to see this movie with you Charlie. We paid to see it. But it’s your choice.”


She took a moment and complained again about the need to have popcorn. Then finally grumbled that, yes, we should see the movie. 


After the first preview, she kissed

me on the cheek and apologized. I breathed a sigh of relief. And then the movie started.


I wasn’t sure what Barbie would even be about, but it was the perfect movie for a mom and tween daughter. It shows a mom and daughter struggling. It shows how women are forced to be everything and still shown no respect. How women’s emotions are shut down and silenced. And it shows them standing up and supporting each other. She squeezed my hand and snuggled into me at key moments during the movie. And we had a great talk about it on the way home.


Things are complicated right now. I worry if I am doing right by the kids. I want to be sensitive. I do. But I also think so

much about my mom and dad. If that had happened when I was eleven. And it just wouldn’t have. No way, no how. I can’t get popcorn? Okay. 


Sure, I may have pouted silently. But I knew not to do it out loud. 


That said, maybe that moment or struggle, for both of us, tied us a little closer. Having to show her that she can’t have it all and me that sometimes I can’t give her everything. And it’s okay. Because I'm the real world we live in, Charlie and I need each other. I’m always gonna be her mama and she’s always gonna be my girl. 



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